Butterfly Emerging from its Chrysalis

My son and I almost didn’t go on today’s class field trip: We awoke to a cold, rainy day, he’d been sick all week, and I woke up disorganized. Still, we bundled up and trudged out the door. I spent a good deal of the morning asking myself why we’d come, and I was sure the day would be a total flop. Somehow, seeing this brief magic (and my son’s wonder at it, though unfortunately I didn’t catch that part on the video) made the whole day worthwhile.

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Phew…and Sorry

I really didn’t consider, before I said I’d write every day, just how busy I was going to be! And after the busyness, how much I would need time just spent investing in relationships, in prayer, in quiet…and important things like taking the kids sledding!  (Photo Credit goes to my wonderful sister-in-law, who was also a part of this Important Event).

Anyway, sorry, folks! Rest assured I wasn’t just avoiding this! Let’s pick up where we left off, shall we?

I’m sure there are those of you wondering how our appointment with the Developmental Pediatrician went. I’m happy to say it went very VERY well. I am SO pleased with this doctor! She doesn’t believe in labeling for the sake of labeling, for one thing. She wants DS to get the help he needs to help him have a fulfilling, successful life, but feels that giving us a label for “what’s going on” would only be moderately helpful. So, we’re taking it one step at a time, observing him, getting him in with the Speech Language Pathologist…but for now not worrying about naming what it is he has. And it may yet turn out to be just a developmental “quirk”…there’s still so much we have to learn about child development and the brain!

Anyway, no real “answers” I guess, but to me that’s less the point. And I’d rather we all take our time instead of jumping to a pet diagnosis (something this doctor is extremely aware of as a danger). We left feeling that we were heard, that there is help available, and with a sense of reassurance that there are people on our side and next steps to take. So, praise God for that!

I must say that in all the craziness of the tough times we’ve been facing, God has been there every step of the way. I’ve been scared sometimes, but there has always been His comfort. There have been times when we’ve wondered whether things would work out, but God has come through every time with the right answer to the problem at hand. When I’ve been stressed, He’s given me rest. None of this has been according to my plan, but I’m at peace knowing that it’s all going according to His plan. God is so good. All the time. Even when times are tough. No, ESPECIALLY then.

Beginner

I’ve often felt discouraged as a relative beginner in my artistic field, even to the point of despairing at the prospect of never being any good at the art that is my passion. I have picked up my camera again and again with the knowledge that the photo I’ve envisioned will not be what I find when I get home and view my photos on the computer, and as hard as I work in the processing it never *quite* gets there.

The more I take that camera out, however, the closer those images get to what was in my mind’s eye…and I wish my current Self could understand what other strides Future Self will make (but that would be cheating, wouldn’t it?)

The following quote from National Public Radio’s Ira Glass has been blogged/shared a few times already, but it bears repeating for the sake of all artists feeling those “beginner’s blues.”

“What nobody tells people who are beginners — and I really wish someone had told this to me . . . is that all of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, and it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not.

But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer.  And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase. They quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it’s normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story.

It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.” – Ira Glass (emphasis mine)

So…I guess I’ll keep fighting.