Letting Go

As hard as I try to conceive of a way, there seems to be no way for us to move back to our little hometown anytime soon. I’m feeling the level of desperation that tells me it’s time to let it go, at least for a time.

I get angry about it sometimes. But I’m trying to dream of other things. “When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.”

Well, that’s out. I expected to feel more relief.

Feeling unsettled. I wish I had some idea of what God has in mind. In a way, I suppose this must be a lesson in itself, to learn to wait and be patient…and to not attempt so much self-sufficiency (and when have I ever been good at God’s job? the resounding answer is “never.”) Still, I sort of feel like the Pevensies leaving Narnia (okay, it’s not Narnia…but remember my post about the Thin Places), only in our world Aslan doesn’t conveniently stand beside us with a mane and tell us which of us will be coming back.

So…dreaming of other things. Maybe I’ll do that photography program after all.

We’ll just have to see what God has in store, and there is something exciting about that. With only the unknown ahead, there’s freedom to sail with the wind.

One thought on “Letting Go

  1. Katrina MacWhirter says:

    I’m sorry, sister dear. And I love you. Don’t know if it helps, but all of us feel the the strength of the home your family has made, despite the conflicts and concerns. Praying, hard, for your dream. That instinct is important, even if for now it’s only a compass that leads you somewhere you don’t expect. (Sometimes, as to Narnia and other routes to Thin Places, especially then.)

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